Talking on the phone to someone new can be hard, however with the tips below you should be able to make it easier.
Use It – Offer to chat on the phone during text communications
Having a phone conversation is the first aim of a successful phone conversation.
If you plan to get on the phone to a guy, chances are it will be up to you to direct the conversation there. Today, men are unfortunately not used to chatting to women on the phone, which means that it might take some prompting before you get him headed in that direction.
During a text conversation, you can send the message “Let us stop the back and forth. Call me tonight x”, as a great way to encourage the man to step up and actually make the call without you having to do it for him.
If you do that, you will clearly set yourself apart from other women stuck talking to him via endless text chats that never really builds any rapport.
Avoid planning conversations, but have questions in mind
Planning conversations might seem awkward, so go with the flow on the phone. However, you probably have things that you are curious about in a potential partner, which is why you should have a question or two in the back of the mind just to satisfy your curiosity with the added benefit of filling holes in your conversation is highly recommended. You can try free trial phone chat lines to get some practice in.
Ideal questions are those specific to him that elicit his values. However, if you don’t have such question in mind, try more general ones, such as “If you had to choose anywhere in the world to live, where would it be?” or “If you had the option of choosing any job in the world, what would it be?” to get an interesting conversation flowing, while still being a lot of fun.
Keeping It Positive
Guys never like the idea of getting on the phone to a new woman just to hear her complain about everything that’s wrong with her life. Nothing will kill his attention for you quicker.
Conversation should ideally be lighthearted and positive, with the topics you raise framed around the things that you are doing, have done, or are excited to do.
Aim to have more than 80 percent of the conversation framed around fun, positive topics from start to finish. If you are in a foul mood and unable to find it within you to be positive it is better to take a rain check until when you can.
Keep Your Conversations Short
You remember the text conversations with the guy you had a real spark with? Those that 3 days and 50 texts later, both of you decided that you no longer ‘felt’ it anymore?
The truth is that this can happen on the phone too.
The phenomenon happens if the conversation goes on too long relative to the amount of time you have known him. A boyfriend of 9 months? Talk for 4 hours. The hot guy that you met last week? Do not try.
Whenever you converse with somebody, there’s a peak and trough in the energy of interaction. Therefore, your goal should always be to end the phone conversation before the trough hits.
15 to 20 minutes is an excellent guideline for the first phone call you make to a guy. As you get to know one another better, you can continuously increase the times from there. It is long enough to connect emotionally, crack jokes, and build rapport, while still being short enough to avoid lulls in conversations and get him excited to hear your voice once more.
The last thing that you would want to happen is when talking on the phone sounds more like an interview. Phone chatting is a lot less like a text message conversation and much more like a real date, which is why you need to treat it so.
Steer clear of the standard “What do you do for a living” questions. A better idea is to look for fun in all your conversational threads. Does he talk about having a tough day at work with customers? Tell him a funny story of a customer that you have ever had to deal with. Is he a Harry Potter fan? Make fun of him for it, admit it, you are a closet nerd, aren’t you? Tease him for the dumb things that he says, “oh my gosh, you are probably the goofiest guy that I have ever seen!”.
It all needs to come across as playful and lighthearted. You will know that you are doing it right if he gives you banter back.
Just as you probably would not have other things on your mind when with your friends, you should apply the same courtesy when you are talking on the phone to a guy. Don’t be Facebooking or working and definitely don’t be playing waste-paper basketball with a roommate. It is not only rude but disheartening for a guy that’s excited to talk to you to get the feeling that you are not. Whatever you need to do can probably wait; otherwise just don’t call.
End on a High Note
It is important to end the call at the right time since the level of energy when the call ends is that which the call will be remembered. Simply put, end the call on an emotional high and he will definitely associate you with an emotional high.
If you are approaching the 15- to 20-minute mark, try looking for a peak in the conversation, which ideally should be laughter as a signal to end the call. When laughter comes, it feels great, and you will be tempted to continue the conversation a few minutes more.
Don’t get stuck in this habit since doing so is what eventually lead to the 2 hour or longer calls that destroy the energy instead of promoting it. If things end up working out with him, you will have plenty more chances for talking. It does not all need to happen immediately.