The word frigid is banded around schools a lot, at least it was in my day. Frigid meant you didn’t want to do anything sexual with someone. For some it had a stronger meaning, it meant you were passionless and cold-hearted. Young people already have so much peer pressure beating them down, so adding in a pressure to become sexually active is just another notch on the “I must do this like everyone else” bedpost. It doesn’t help that the media, films and TV are shoving the message down our throats too.
Throughout our lives there’s an overwhelming pressure for both boys and girls to “do it.” I don’t need to explain that one. For guys there’s the pressure to “get laid” and once you do you’re the talk of the town. If you don’t you’re a gentleman. For women, you’re branded a slut or a whore if you do and frigid if you don’t. You just can’t win.
But you should be proud of being frigid and you should ignore the frigid-shamers.
And here’s how you do it.
1. Let people know that you’ll do it in your own time. There’s no rush to have sexual experiences and there’s no shame in waiting. Some people choose to wait for personal or religious reasons and that’s fine too. If you don’t want to be vocal about it then you don’t need to be. Remember there’s no pressure to tell. It’s your life, live it the way you want to.
2. Know your reasons are the right ones for you. They aren’t excuses. People may call you frigid for many different reasons, it may even be the fact that they may not have done it themselves. Everyone has their reasons like you have yours. But you should be proud that you’re sure of why you don’t want to do the things other people may be doing.
3. Remember you’re an individual and everyone has different experiences. You are you. There are humongous pressures now, but in a few years they’ll disappear. Life is about exploring and finding what you feel comfortable with in that moment, but that doesn’t mean you need to try every single experience at any one point in your life. Later in life some people may wish they’d left their sexual experiences till they were older, others won’t. It’s different for everyone.
You got this!